


Fragile

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Kane (Band), Smallville RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-30
Updated: 2007-05-30
Packaged: 2018-09-06 07:27:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8740357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Sixth in the AU Rockstar!Verse!  Jensen tells Jared a little about his family, Tommy's in a dress and kicking Chad's ass, Mike gets wasted, Chris is concerned and confused, and Steve is begging the Good Lord...WHY?!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Lissa read this and hit me, cause I made her boy look bad. Also my 11 year old nephew read a little of this over my shoulder the other night. He was supposed to be watching House of Wax, and then I had to explain to him what slash was. His response: "Oh you mean like Uncle Louie?" I love that kid, Trey kicks ass. Enjoy!

“Fragile”

By C.K. Blake

 

With the beginnings of a languid stretch and a soft groan consciousness flooded through Mike’s system and then his body froze at the wet, warm mouth pressed against his, and his lips parted at the tongue flickering across his bottom lip. He tilted his head back as that tongue swept into his mouth, and his tongue came alive in response, and he moaned when teeth caught his bottom lip and gave it a good tug.

 

His eyes fell open and his heart stuttered to a halt for a moment before kickstarting up again as he realized that Tom Welling had just given him one of the best kisses he’d ever experienced, and Tommy’s eyes were closed. Mike tentatively reached up, his hand gliding up Tom’s cheek and then Tom’s eyes popped open and the pleasant expression that had been on his face fell to one of horror.

 

‘Oh shit,’ was Mike’s first thought as Tom jerked back, his hand swiping at his mouth as a string of curses fell from his lips. Mike almost wished that he could take it back, because he’d never seen Tom so freaked, but that would have been a lie, feeling those lips against his wasn’t something he wanted to forget. 

 

“What the fucking hell, Mike?!”

 

Mike winced at the shrillness in Tom’s voice, held out his hand to stave off the questions and then gripped his head with his free hand, but by then Tom had caught on to the fact that he was in a dress and heels. He scrambled out of the bed, and promptly fell on his ass, because he wasn’t used to the heels. 

 

“What the fuck happened last night?” Tom asked, his voice cold, and Mike had never heard Tommy sound like that before.

 

Mike bit his lip, and shrugged as he sat up. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he answered, “I don’t know all the details. You got wasted, me and Chad managed to get you in a dress, I talked Chad into rooming with Steve, and dragged your half-passed-out ass back to my room. After that your guess is as good mine, man.”

 

Tom got to his feet, his whole body shaking with rage and countless other emotions as he stumbled across the room and out the door, not caring how he looked. He needed to get the hell away, and as he turned to look at Mike sitting up in the bed, and looking honestly remorseful for once, he shook his head and bit out, “Fuck you, Rosenbaum. You always end up takin’ shit too far.”

 

Mike winced as the door slammed behind Tommy and he realized that Tom had never called him Rosenbaum before. They’d always been tight and he’d always been the Mike to Welling’s Tommy. That’s just how it was. Maybe he did take it too far. Fuck, he could sympathize with how fucked up Jen was over Chris, cause if this was anything to go by, he was screwed like a rancid hooker in Tijuana.

 

He absently drew his fingers across his lips, and wished he’d had enough foresight to catch Tom on the way out and at least get another kiss out of it before the shit hit the fan.

 

\----------

 

Slowly consciousness seeped into his bones as he smiled up into the mouth that was pressing against his. He let his mouth fall open and Jensen’s tongue swept in, deepening the kiss. He lifted his arms around the older man, pulling him closer, and laughed when Jensen snorted, let out a grunt and chuckled as he pulled back enough to focus on looking at Jared.

 

“You’re like a giant fucking energizer bunny, Jay. You just keep going and going, and Christ man, you wore me the fuck out!”

 

Jared’s mouth fell open at the indignity of being compared to a pink fluffy bunny. “If I weren’t so hung up on you and how hot you are, I think I’d be offended by that,” Jared growled and then his hand cupped the back of Jensen’s head and pulled the older man down into a deep, slow kiss, and Jensen forgot about being worn out and morning breath.

 

\----------

 

Steve groaned and a curse slipped out of his mouth as he realized that the pounding in his head was really the pounding against the door, and he wondered if this was going to lead to another kiss from a leggy brunette. He slipped out of his bed, spared a glance in Chad’s direction and heard the younger man grumbling and cussing from beneath the pillow pulled over his head.

 

With a shrug and a sigh Steve warily approached the door. He pulled it open and his eyes widened at the sight before him as he honest to God tried not to laugh at the spectacle that was his bassist, Tom Welling, in a red sequined dress and black strappy heels. 

 

He was biting down hard on the inside of his cheek as Tom angrily stumbled into the room and headed straight for the bed that Chad occupied. Steve watched with mild amusement as Tom jerked the pillow back and landed Chad a solid punch before he tossed the short, bewildered man out of the bed and onto the floor. 

 

Chad shook his head in bewilderment wonder what the fuck had happened and why it had happened to _him_ , as Tom headed straight for their bathroom and locked the door. Chad shifted his gaze to Steve, and Steve shrugged his shoulders in response. All he knew for sure was that Mike was at the bottom of whatever in the hell that was, and speaking of the devil himself.

 

Mike stepped into their room and looked around. He noticed Chad all ass and elbows on the floor gingerly poking at his left eye, which was beginning to swell. He also felt Steve’s curious gaze on him, and he heard the muffled curses and noticed the bathroom door rattling as Tom probably kicked it in his anger.

 

With a deep breath and a long sigh, Mike knocked on the bathroom door. “Hey, Tommy, maybe we should talk about this? What do ya say man? You can’t just stay mad at me.”

 

“Go the fuck _away_ , Rosenbaum!” was the reply from behind the door.

 

Steve’s eyes widened, because Tom never stayed mad at Mike and never called Mike by his last name. Whatever had happened was huge. 

 

“God dammit, Tommy, I’m not going away and I’m not going to forget what happened, now just open this fucking door so we can talk! I thought you were over being a kid back when we let you in the band! Christ man! Come on, just talk to me!” Mike pleaded.

 

“Fuck you! And fuck your little minion too, you stupid asshole!”

 

Steve shook his head as he quickly dressed and shot Chad a look that got the shorter man to move. Once Steve and Chad were dressed they headed out of the room to leave Mike and Tom to sort out whatever the hell it was on their own. Because it was obviously going to get real messy before it got resolved. Steve just hoped they kept everything in the room in one piece.

 

“So, what the hell was that about, and why in the hell did Tom hit me?” Chad asked as Steve knocked against Chris’ door. 

 

Steve shrugged and then grinned as Chris opened the door. “Hey man, what do you say to a little breakfast?”

 

Chris rolled his eyes at Chad and Steve. “Sure man, but I won’t have to watch Jensen and his giant suckin’ face will I?”

 

Chad snorted. “Naw, they probably won’t leave the room till lunch time if I know my man, Jay.”

 

“Thanks for the mental image,” Chris said with grunt, and then he reached back in the door for his white cowboy hat, stuck it on his head, and followed the two men out as they headed to Chad’s truck.

 

Upon noticing the absence of Mike and Tom, Chris asked, “So where’s Mikey and his little shadow?”

 

Chad winced and gingerly poked at his swollen eye. Chris lifted a brow and looked questioningly at Steve. Steve sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know the whole story, but Chad set Tom up in Mike’s room after a hard night of drinking. All I do know is that Tommy showed up at my door in a red dress, black heels, hit Chaddy boy here, then went into the bathroom and locked himself in. Mike followed a few minutes later and they’re probably still fighting with the bathroom door between ‘em. Never did understand those two.”

 

“That makes two of us. And I don’t get women either. Sandy up and left. I think she stuck around those last couple of days just to fuck with Jensen’s little fuck toy,” Chris said.

 

“Hey, he’s got a name. It’s Jared,” Chad piped up, and narrowed his eyes on Chris. “You’re cool and all, but don’t go bad mouthing my boy. He’s been there for me through some pretty rough shit.”

 

Chris shrugged as Steve pulled in at Denny’s. They got out, went inside, and ordered.

 

\----------

 

At the sound of the gurgling rumble coming from Jared’s stomach Jensen laughed. He leaned up on his elbows and looked up at Jared with a grin on his face. “Well man, looks like we really can’t stay naked and in bed all day. Let’s go get you fed so that I can fuck you back into submission again.”

 

“Sounds like a plan,” Jared agreed with a healthy amount of enthusiasm.

 

They got out of bed and quickly dressed, eyeing each other every now and then. As Jensen headed toward the door Jared’s big hands caught him about the waist and pulled him back against him, his mouth tugging at Jensen’s ear as he said, “Shame I can’t just eat you. You always taste so fuckin’ good.”

 

“Food’s the plan, Jay, we’ll get to dessert later,” Jensen replied with a chuckle as he reached behind him and gave Jared’s ass a good pinch.

 

Jared jolted forward and Jensen moaned at the feel of Jared’s hardening cocked pressed against the small of his back. He then turned around to face Jared, and kissed the taller man senseless as he pulled back he pointed down between them with a cocky grin and said, “That doesn’t get taken care of till after lunch.”

 

Jared shook his head in disbelief, put on his best pout, but Jensen mustered as much strength of will as he could, and Jared’s expression fell in disappointment as he mumbled, “Tease,” under his breath.

 

Jensen just chuckled as they headed out of their room. They looked around and noticed Chad’s truck was missing. Jensen rolled his eyes before he grinned and ran back into their room and came out jangling a set of keys. Jared eyed the keys and Jensen shrugged. “Steve gave me a set of keys to his van. Cool, huh?”

 

“Whatever, let’s just eat,” Jared replied, and his stomach agreed with another good rumble.

 

It wasn’t long before they were pulling up in front of a steakhouse in Steve’s van. They parked, got out, headed inside, and went to a nice corner booth in the back. As they placed their orders the waitress eyed Jared up and down, licked her lips, pouted, bent forward to ask him just how well done he wanted that steak, and Jensen saw red. 

 

When the waitress, a pretty, leggy little red head, returned with their sweet tea Jensen made it a point to lean across the table and whisper something to Jared before he tugged Jared’s ear between his teeth, watching the waitress from the corner of his eye as he did so. 

 

He backed off, Jared flushing a deep red as the waitress put their drinks down on the table and hurried off with a little squeak. Jensen was smug as he pulled the lemon slice off his glass and took a sip of the tea. He chuckled as he looked up and met Jared’s embarrassed glare head on.

 

“Was all of that really necessary?” Jared snapped.

 

Jensen shrugged. “Just making sure she knew you were taken. She practically waved her tits in your face. Had to let her know she was operatin’ the wrong equiptment. Remember, Jay. You’re mine,” he said, his tone possessive and his eyes darkening to emphasize his point.

 

Eventually Jared eased up and soon they were laughing it up and talking as their steaks were brought over to them by a very different waitress, a tall, willowy brunette, her hair pulled back in a messy bun, looking for all the world like she didn’t give a damn who they were as long as they left a decent damn tip.

 

As she walked off Jensen nodded in approval then cut a hunk from his steak and said, “Now that’s the kind of waitress I like. Minds her business and only cares about the tip. Gotta love a direct woman. Now where was I?”

 

“You were telling me about the band being booked to play at your sister’s prom,” Jared said with a small smile and then he moaned around a piece of steak.

 

Jensen shook his head clear of the momentary distraction and a wide grin spread across his face. “Oh yeah, poor Mackenzie. She begged Mom to homeschool her after that. We were in the middle of a song when her promdate, the damn captain of the football team, got her off in a corner by the stage. I saw what was happening, hopped off stage and kicked his ass! Then Mackenzie went crazy and started hitting me, and then Mike said something about school pride and we all had to haul ass outta there because the whole damn football team ended up chasing us. Hell, as we pulled out of the parking lot Chris hung out of the window and gave ‘em the finger and shouted, ‘Team sucks ass anyway! Didn’t win a single god damned home game!’ God that was aweseome!”

 

“Shit man. The whole damn football team?”

 

“Yeah, cause you know how Mike runs his mouth,” Jensen replied.

 

Jared nodded and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, put it like that and it’s not all that hard to believe. So what about the rest of your family? I’ve heard about your sister, Mackenzie. What about your parents? Any other siblings?”

 

Jensen chewed and swallowed, then took a sip of his tea before shrugging. “I’ve got an older brother, Joshua. He’s married, got a couple of kids. Kinda hard to live up to that when you’re like me, I guess. My Mom’s always been cool though. God, you’d love her, she cooks the most amazing things, and she’s got this amazing smile, and she’s always laughing, and man. Just thinking about her sometimes makes me homesick, you know?”

 

Jared nodded. “Yeah. My Momma’s like that too. But damn when she’s pissed she never holds back. As soon as I hear Jared Tristan Padalecki I know I’m fucked.”

 

“Tristan?” Jensen asked, and nearly choked on his tea.

 

Jared scowled. “Yeah, got a problem with it?”

 

“Does Chad know what the T stands for in JT?” Jensen asked with a smirk.

 

“Hell no, and you’re not tellin’ him or Mike either,” Jared said, his eyes promising payback if he did.

 

“Fine,” Jensen replied, a devious glint still in his eyes.

 

“And what’s your middle name anyway, since you know mine.”

 

“Ross.”

 

It was Jared’s turn to sputter. “You mean like that annoying guy from Friends?”

 

Jensen rolled his eyes. “And did you just admit to watching Friends?”

 

“My sister likes that show.”

 

Jensen snorted. “Yeah, sure. I totally believe that Tristy.”

 

“Fuck you,” Jared griped and stabbed at a piece of steak on his plate.

 

Jensen’s smirk spread into a wolfish smile, as his whiskey-laden voice responded, “Oh that’s the plan, Jay.”

 

\----------

 

Once back at the hotel Chad followed Chris out of the truck and headed to Steve’s room. Obviously the action was over because the room was empty, so then he found himself pounding away on Mike’s door. Mike threw open the door, looking a little haggard and well into a fresh six pack. Chad stepped into the room, and looked up with a start when he realized that Mike was still holding it open for someone else. Chad took a seat on the bed he’d been using and Steve sat back in a chair and both looked expectantly at Mike for some kind of explaination.

 

“Okay, Mikey, think you could tell me why in the fuck Tommy Boy would knock the shit out of me and then kick my ass outta bed? Dude, what the hell happened?” Chad snapped.

 

Mike knocked back a swig of his beer and fell back into the chair across from Steve before he put the bottle on the floor, bent forward, his fingers threading through his hair as he stared glumly down at the floor. He took in a shaky breath and when he lifted his head his eyes were bright with all kinds of emotions. 

 

“Fuck, I don’t even know. I mean any other time he would have been pissed at waking up in a dress and heels, but I fell into bed with him. Honest to God, I can’t remember. All I know is that I woke up to him kissing me and then when he actually woke up and realized what he was doing it all went straight to hell.”

 

“Wait, Tommy kissed you?” Steve asked, his eyes widening for a moment and then he shook his head. 

 

“Yeah, why?” Mike asked.

 

Chad was looking curiously at Steve too. Steve sighed. “Look, Tom’s been a little off since the last prank you pulled on him, where he woke up in bed with you. Then you go and pull some shit like this, Mike. I swear if I’d known what you were up to I never would have left him alone with you. Christ. How could you do this Mike? He’s your friend, and he’s confused, and oh hell, this is fucked up. I thought Chris and Jen were gonna be the death of me. Shoulda known it’d be you, Rosey.”

 

“Woah!” Chad piped up. “You mean Tommy’s got a thing for Mike? Who in their right mind would have a thing for fucking Mike?”

 

“Gee, thanks Murray,” Mike groused.

 

Steve shrugged, for once agreeing with Chad. Mike just flipped them off and grabbed his beer for another pull in response.

 

\----------

 

Jared slammed the door shut as he ran around the van, picked up Jensen and spun him around before setting him down after Jensen swatted him in the head and then threw his arm across Jensen’s shoulder as they approached their room. They stopped abruptly when they noticed Tom sitting on the concrete by their door. When their shadows fell across him, he looked up at them, a hand over his eyes to block out the glare of the sun behind them.

 

Jensen let out a disappointed huff as he looked down at Tommy and saw how confused and hurt the poor kid looked. He shook his head as he opened up the door and Tom stood. Jared shot a glance to Jen before he patted Tom on the back and they walked inside of the room. Jensen went to the little fridge, pulled out three beers. He tossed one to Tom and the other to Jared before he popped the top on his own and took a swig and sat down on the bed that had yet to be slept in. 

 

Jared sat down next to Jensen and Tom pulled up a chair, spun it around, straddled it and downed half of his beer before he looked up at the two of them, and with a sweeping gesture of his hands asked, “How in the hell do you make this work? I mean you’ve known each other what? A couple of months and you’re all kissy face and happy, and fuck, you’re just so perfect and in love! I can’t even get my head straight to think beyond what the hell the fucker’s gonna to do to me next to humiliate me!”

 

“Woah, man, slow down. What the hell is this about, Tommy?” Jensen asked, and shifted a confused look toward Jared.

 

Tom snorted and shook his head. “God, just look at you. Got everything you want and still too damn stubborn to see it for what it is, but I bet Jared knows. Hell you’ve kept him around Jen, that’s sayin’ something.”

 

“Hey man, cut the shit. What’s with you?” Jen asked, getting antsy, because he was not going there with a semi-drunk Tom getting Jared’s hopes up when they were still at that casual level, because commitment wasn’t a thing that set that well with Jensen.

 

“It’s Mike, isn’t it?” Jared asked gently, and Tom swung his gaze to Jared.

 

“Yeah, stupid fuck. Him and Chad got me wasted, and stuck an ugly ass red dress on me, put me in heels, and then I woke up next to Mike again, and I was kissing the bastard, and… Fuck.”

 

Jensen’s eyes widened, because Tom usually didn’t curse that often. “You were kissing Rosenbaum?”

 

Tom and Jared sent twin glares in Jensen’s direction and he held up his hands in self-defense before he took a long pull from his beer to digest that.

 

“So how long have you felt that way about Mike?” Jared asked.

 

“Too fucking long, and he’s an asshole, and he’s never serious, and it wouldn’t work. I’m the kid of the group, the one everyone always looks out for or fucks with. God forbid I actually have a say in anything, and I’m never taken seriously. It blows hard, and now this. I can’t believe he did this, and Steve just left me with them, and…”

 

“Okay, so have you just thought about maybe talking to Mike and telling him how you feel? Or at the very least kicking his ass and telling him to stop fucking with you?” Jared asked.

 

Jensen snorted. “Mike’s a slippery son of a bitch. He’d take Tom down in a second.”

 

Tom glared at Jensen again and shook his head. “Don’t matter. Mike’s never serious about anything. He’d only fuck me over in the end, and it’s not worth it.”

 

“How do you know if you haven’t tried, man?” Jared said, and gave Tom a reassuring smile when Tom lifted his head.

 

“I can call you to kick his ass for me if he’s a prick?” Tom asked, looking squarely at Jared.

 

“Man, I won’t fight your battles for you, but I’ll hogtie him if you need me too,” Jay said with a grin.

 

Jensen cut in at that. “Just don’t call for the next hour or so, now go out there and knock some fucking sense into Rosenbaum already. Leave now so I can get laid, dude. Seriously, cramping my style here.”

 

Jared gave him a sharp, pointed look, and then Tom just sort of shook his head to clear away the mental image before he finished his beer and left the room with a purpose.

 

“Finally!” Jensen said as he got up to lock the door behind Tom, and then he looked at Jared, his eyes darkening with lust.

 

Jared rolled his eyes at Jensen. “You could have been a little more understanding.”

 

“Man, I don’t do chick flick moments. I might be gay, but I’m still a fucking man.”

 

“I wasn’t asking you to hug him! Just Christ, a little sympathy wouldn’t have killed you,” Jared snapped, and then pushed Jensen away before he picked up his duffel bag and headed to the bathroom for a shower.

 

Jensen sighed and fell back on the bed, and then a grin pulled at his lips. The lock to their bathroom didn’t work. He got up as he heard the shower being cut on, pulled his shirt over his head, unbuttoned his jeans, drew down the zipper, and shucked them and as he slipped into the bathroom he tugged off his boxers and stepped out of them. Jared was already in the shower, behind the curtain. Jensen pulled the curtain back and slipped in and was breathless at the sight of Jared naked with water dripping from his hair and beading down his body. Jared opened his eyes at the cool breeze and then his gaze landed on Jensen who was getting harder with each passing second. 

 

“What are you doing in here?” Jared bit out, still a little miffed over how Jensen had handled things with Tom.

 

“Couldn’t stay away. Come on, wanna be here. God you’re so fucking hot and wet Jay,” Jensen said, and leaned forward, licked up along Jared’s neck and nipped at his ear. 

 

Jared swallowed and groaned when he felt Jensen’s dick press against his thigh, and his own answering erection straining while he moved forward until their crotchs collided and Jensen let out a long, low whine from deep in his throat. 

 

“I don’t bottom for anyone, Jay,” Jensen whispered huskily. “Not until you. Want you again. Want you in me. Now.”

 

Jared leaned down and caught Jensen’s mouth in a wet, messy kiss. Jensen pulled back, turned around, braced his palms against the tile of the shower and opened his legs as wide as his could in the shower, leaning forward a bit. 

 

Jared drew his hand up along Jen’s spine, and Jensen shivered, letting out a hiss. Then Jared grabbed his hips and pulled him back a little, rubbing his hard cock against Jensen’s ass. Jensen looked back over his shoulder. 

 

“Stop teasing, and fuck me,” he bit out.

 

Jared’s eyes widened, but then he nodded, and slipped his fingers between Jensen’s ass cheeks. He prepped him as quickly as possible, but the filth falling from Jensen’s mouth was too much. He positioned his cock at Jensen’s opening and thrust in deeply. Jensen arched his back as he was driven forward, a long, loud moan roaring from his lips.

 

Jared had a firm grip on Jensen’s left hip as he reached around Jensen with his right hand and wrapped it around Jensen’s throbbing dick. He began to work Jensen’s cock in rhythm with his thrusting, and Jensen was torn between pushing back on Jared’s dick and thrusting into Jared’s hand as Jared fucked him hard and steady, his sharp hips rolling against Jensen’s ass, his cock finding Jensen’s prostate on almost everything single thrust, and it was amazing.

 

Jared grunted with exertion, and Jensen let his head fall back and he groaned when Jared’s teeth latched onto his right shoulder, Jared’s hand tightening on his cock, as his thrusts and pulls became more erratic. Jensen felt the tingling in his spine and his balls drew up and he knew that it wouldn’t be much longer.

 

“Christ, Jay. Not gonna last,” Jensen said, and then Jared hit his prostate again and he was coming with a roar, shooting come on the tile of the shower and all over Jared’s hand, and as his body shuddered, trying to calm down, Jared filled him, and bit down harder, growling against Jensen’s shoulder as he came. 

 

Jared pulled back after a moment, both of them breathing heavily, their bodies trembling, the water had gone called ages ago, but that didn’t matter. They slumped down into the tub together and it was an awkward fit as Jensen found himself curled up in Jared’s lap, allowing himself to be held, and it felt so good as he struggled to get his breath. It felt comforting.

 

\----------

 

Chris pulled open the door and his carefree expression changed to one of concern as he looked at Steve. “Damn man, what’s up? Come on in, son.”

 

Steve slipped into the room, running a hand through his hair and took a seat in one of the chairs. He let his head fall back to stare at the ceiling for a moment and then slowly let out a breath. 

 

“Mike fucked up big time with Tom, and hell I ain’t got a clue what’s goin’ on with my friends anymore. I’ve always been the one holding shit together and fixin’ everything. How can I do that when it’s too much?” Steve asked.

 

Chris shrugged. “Man, stick with what you know. Here,” he said and handed Steve his guitar. “Let’s jam a little. You play something and I might sing a little. Just relax. Shit always works out. Hell, you were never like this before I left, man.”

 

“And you ain’t got a clue what you left behind. You broke Jen. He was never the same after you left. You know he hasn’t spoken to his dad since word got round what happened between you two? You never stopped to think about that before you ran, did you? Hell, did you ever think about it while you were in California, living up the good life? Working on that TV show, getting in the movies? You left us all hangin’ and you broke Jen.”

 

“It wasn’t like that, Steve. You don’t know, man. Me and Jen, we were friends since we were kids and then we met up with you in high school and we were jamming buddies in a band. I’ve always looked out for Jenny Boy, and I had no idea. Christ I never knew he was into men, or that he had a thing for me. Hell, we were like brothers. I was closer to him than he ever was to Joshua. Then we got drunk and he just came onto me. I didn’t know what was going on till I looked down and there he was on his knees, my cock in hands. I didn’t know what to do. He was my best friend, I didn’t want to hurt him. But I didn’t… Christ, and now being back and seeing him with that kid. I don’t want him hurt the way I hurt him. I know I hurt him. Jesus, Steve, I know. I used to call his Momma to ask about him. Donna, she’s priceless. At least she didn’t blame me.”

 

“Look, I’m not blaming anybody. You both fucked up. I just… I see it happenin’ again, with Mike and Tommy, and I’m just waiting on the other shoe to drop, cause Jen ain’t good at holdin’ on to good things. He’s gettin' real attached to that kid, too.”

 

“Yeah, I noticed,” Chris replied and then he let out a deep breath, and sighed. “Enough of this shit. Can’t take it anymore. Let’s just jam, or I could tell you about that record exec I met in L.A. He’s got an office in Dallas, and I slipped him one of your demos. He liked it. I was thinking we could make somethin’ of it. You and Smeckles and maybe we could get some guys together and give Kane another shot too. We always were good at writin’ together.”

 

Steve shook his head, but let it go. “You got them kinda connections and you’re just telling me now? Hell man, you’re an asshole.”

 

“S’what I been told a time or two,” Chris said with a grin.

 

\----------

 

“Hey Jay, I’m gonna run across the street to that diner and grab us somethin’ to eat, cause we’re eatin’ in tonight. Just don’t feel like going out, you know?” Jensen said, and as an after thought asked, “You want the cheeseburger with extra ketchup, hold the mayo, and do you want the chocolate cheesecake or apple pie?”

 

Jared shrugged. “I don’t know. Just surprise me Jen. I trust you.”

 

Jensen grinned at him. “I’m thinking chocolate then, cause I wanna know how chocolate tastes on you.”

 

“Mmm, sounds good, now go and hurry back. I’m gettin' hungry again.”

 

Jensen snorted. “You’re always hungry Sasquatch!”

 

“So feed me already,” Jared replied with a laugh and a swat at Jensen’s ass.

 

Jensen dodged away with a grin and headed out of the door with a little pep in his step. He was half way across the parking lot when someone fell into step beside him. He shifted his gaze to his right and rolled his eyes. Great, just what he needed, a tag along that he couldn’t stand.

 

“What do you want?” Jensen asked, his tone clearly one of annoyance.

 

Chris shrugged and gave Jen an awkward smile. “Just wanted to talk Jen.”

 

“Don’t. We’re not friends anymore Chris. We haven’t been for a long time. Not since you hit me and ran away, you stupid asshole. Do you have any idea…? No. I’m not doing this right now or ever.”

 

“Gotta face it sometime. Hell, that’s why I’m here, man. I realize that I was an asshole, and I’m sorry. Come on. We used to be best friends. We grew up together, and I want that back. We were like brothers,” Chris said, and the bastard was quick, he darted forward and knocked his shoulder against Jensen’s with a small smile.

 

Jensen sucked in a deep breath. “And here I thought you just came back to win your way into being lead singer again. And you know what? Fuck you. Where were you when my dad found out from your mom that I was gay? Where were you when he stopped speaking to me and quit looking me in the eye? Some fucking friend you are. My mom cried for days when she found out, I had to move in with Steve because my dad couldn’t stomach me staying with them anymore.”

 

“I’m really sorry about that, but hell you remember what happened. I was a dumb kid. I wasn’t ready for that, and hell man, I’m straight. I’m not that kid anymore, though. I’m not running anymore. So why not just talk?”

 

“Look, I’m getting dinner for me and Jay, and I’m going to spend my last night of free time before the next gig with _him_ , so do whatever the hell you want, but do it without me. I’m not your friend. I stopped being your friend the minute you hit me and ran away like a fucking coward,” Jensen snapped and then sped up, practically jogging until he reached the diner, went inside and placed his order to go.

 

It took all of fifteen minutes to prepare his order, and then he was walking out juggling two large sweet teas and a bag full of food. He was fumbling around in his pocket for the key to his room when he was spun around by a pair of strong arms, thrown against the door, the drinks and bag of take out hitting the ground. Then a mouth was on his, biting, nipping, sucking demanding, and he was trying to shove his attacker away, because this man that was so intent on kissing him was not tall and looming over him like Jared. This person was shorter than him, and then the door was being opened behind him and he stumbled back with Christian fucking Kane landing on top of him. 

 

Jared stared down at them as Jensen shoved Chris away, and then he shifted his gaze to Chris. Chris’ eyes widened, wondering where the hell he went from here. Jensen struggled to his feet and went to Jared.

 

“Jay, talk to me, say something,” he said.

 

Jared ran his hand through his hair and shook his head, biting his lip, his whole body trembling with pain and rage. Chris took off, deciding that it was best not to be around when the kid actually exploded.

 

“I should have known better! Christ, you were always saying it. Just keep it casual. I was just a fuck buddy, and that was it! None of it was real! None of this getting to know you bull shit and telling you things that I’ve never told anybody else. God you’re probably laughing on the inside at how much of a stupid kid I am! Fuck you, Jensen. I don’t need this shit. I’m better than this, and I deserve more than your sorry ass. God, what was I thinking? Oh yeah, I wasn’t thinking. I was fucking and getting fucked,” Jared growled and then he began to go around the room picking up his clothes from among the clutter and tossing them on the unused bed. 

 

When he found his duffel bag he tossed it on the bed too, and began to shove things into it. Jensen went up behind him, and grabbed one of Jared’s shirts, a brown John Deer shirt with a green emblem, and he pulled against it to keep Jared from putting it into the bag.

 

“It wasn’t like that Jay. He came out of nowhere! I pushed him away! Why the fuck are you being like this?” Jensen snapped.

 

Jared pulled harder at his shirt and it ripped between them and he just let go.

 

“I played your game, went by every single one of your damn rules, and it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough. It doesn’t matter. Look, have a good life man, or what the fuck ever. I’m out. I’m done. Once I’ve got my shit packed I’m telling the guys goodbye and I’m taking Chad’s truck and getting as far away from you as possible.”

 

Jensen rushed Jared, and pushed him back against the bed, his hands cupping either side of Jared’s face as he pressed his mouth down on Jared’s, begging in the only way he knew how, because he just didn’t have the words. When he pulled back he stared down into Jared’s eyes, saw the pain in them harden and then Jared was pushing him away.

 

He watched in stiff silence as Jared finished packing. Jared paused at the door, and Jensen felt his breath hitch, then Jared turned around, tossed his room key next to Jensen, the key bouncing on the matress, and walked out of the door. Jensen wrapped his arms around his stomach as pain engulfed his whole body. An irrational, all consuming pain burned and ached down to his bones. 

 

He struggled to get air into is lungs like a drowning man, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as he rocked back and forth. He’d never felt anything like this. He was only certain of one thing. This must have been what dying felt like.


End file.
